We love asking questions. It’s part of being human.
Ever since we come into this world we are programmed for learning and therefore want to know.
We want to understand how things work.
We want to speak.
We want to communicate.
We want to find out why people do the things they do.
And sooner or later nearly everyone asks themselves the age-old question – why am I here?
What we don’t realize is just how powerful questions can be.
Did you know that if you are talking and someone interrupts us that we naturally have to answer that question before moving on?
It’s one of the reasons people ask listeners of a lecture to refrain from asking questions during the talk as the speaker is actually impelled to answer disrupting his flow.
Personally I love questions because I have seen firsthand how they can influence people both positively and negatively.
Here are some of the questions I like to ask my clients.
- Do you think that was a good choice?
- Could you have done better?
- Was that a good use of your time?
- Are you happy?
- Do you really want to change?
- Is that what you really want?
- Would you do that again?
In many ways, the questions we find in self-help books are very closely linked to those that a psychologist might ask.
I just don’t believe that most people need to sit in an office for years going through therapy.
I find that most people know the answers to the questions they seek.
The problem is that they’re not asking themselves the right questions.
Change the questions you ask yourself and you will naturally start thinking differently as your brain is automatically activated to find an answer to what you asked.
Ask about why you messed up and your mind will spend hours thinking of all the possible reasons.
Instead why not ask yourself how you can succeed next time.
Essentially it’s the same question, but one focuses on all negatives, the other the silver lining.
The questions you choose create your view of the world.
And what a wonderful world it is, if you let it be.
Adrian Shepherd